Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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