i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just high enough for therapy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
