i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
