when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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