So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
