They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
