i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize