i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
