So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
