I want to have your abortion
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
