it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
