the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
