plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
