he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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