If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just had sex on a roof
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
