it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize