I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
