6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
