Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
