They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
