Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
