When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
