Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize