So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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