so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
