Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
