Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
