Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
