she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
