No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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