Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize