Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
