I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
