So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
