Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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