She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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