Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
