Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
