Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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