I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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