I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
