So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
