He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
