I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
