All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
