So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
