I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
