I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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