the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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