And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
