i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
