If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
