David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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