she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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