So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
