He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i think im in europe. pls send help
COCAINE IS GR8
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
