No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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