you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
