My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Pants are for mortals
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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