I CAN MOONWALK!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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