operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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