Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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